I think physical energy should be worth more than gold. I, for one, would rather be energetic than wealthy.
I spend a lot of time being tired, y’all. There are days when I literally want to take a nap an hour after I get up. It’s a drag, to say the least. I would blame my age (39, thankyouverymuch), but I distinctly remember my mother referring to me as “low energy” when I was a teenager. I wasn’t, and I am not, lazy. I am always in the process of doing something. Lazy is a different scenario. Lazy is having the energy, but an unwillingness to do anything with it. I am, as my mother says, low energy.
Do I want to be more energetic? Of course! I want to be one of those boundlessly energetic people that gets things done. I admire and envy those people. My lack of energy digs at my self esteem far worse than my weight or social inadequacies. It sincerely is one of the main reasons I’ve never had children. I feel like I don’t have the energy to get myself through the day sometimes, how am I supposed to drag kids along with me? My lack of energy keeps me from enjoying social gatherings and forming new friendships. I’m too tired to go, much less put the energy into looking presentable for the event.
I’ve targeted a few of the reasons I think I currently lack energy. [I can’t speak for Teenager Teri. She was just a slacker.]
- My job. Absorbing the problems of other people is far more exhausting than I realized it would be. I thought I would be Teflon, but I really am more like the imitation Tupperware that still smells like the spaghetti from last week even though you washed it three days ago.
- Clutter. I purged the house of all unwanted clutter because the sight of the office practically sucked the life force out of me.
- Weight. I’m chunky, I admit it. I’m also woman enough to admit that the older you get, the harder it is to haul around extra weight.
- Marriage. Being responsible for another person is also far more exhausting than I imagined. I can see Z reading this and throwing his hands up in the air. I can see him scrunching his nose up in disgust. It’s not him — really. [Though it would help if you cleaned up more, Z. ;)] I do truly love my husband and love being married to him. I still contend that marriage is exhausting.
- Funky Sleep Patterns. When Z is deployed, I have trouble sleeping for a few weeks after he leaves. I leave the TV on because I’m spooked, but then the TV wakes me up during the night. When Z is home, I have trouble sleeping a few weeks after he arrives. [It could have something to do with the deep sleep bear hug he wraps around me that cuts off my oxygen.] The cat wakes me up. He thinks he owns the bed and he snores. The dog whimpers to go out at 2 am. You get the picture.
I decided it was time to tackle the energy issue. I had a physical and I’m fit as a fiddle. I’m a little low on Vitamin D, which could be contributing to my energy problem. That’s easily corrected with a vitamin and/or a little time in the sun each day. I’ve started exercising more. Studies show that people who exercise sleep more soundly than sedentary folks. You’ve already heard about the Great House Purge and it’s done wonders for my psyche. I’ve started going to bed at 10 pm and waking up at 6 am — yes, even though it is summer. The studies say our bodies dig routine. For the past two nights, I’ve turned off the TV. Oh my gracious, I have some freaky dreams, y’all. I didn’t realize the TV was holding them at bay. It also might help if my neighbors would chill with the construction projects at midnight. Seriously, I think they are building a rocket ship in their backyard. They better bring me back a moon rock.
So the core and success of the domesticity project lies in my ability to get a handle on my energy level. I think work, home, marriage and friendship would be much more enjoyable if I didn’t sleep through them.