Bluebird Down

The pursuit of domestic bliss, one glorious debacle at a time.

Turkey Baster Not Included July 5, 2011

Filed under: Baby Making,Currently Reading,Family,Food,Training Log — Teri @ 9:05 pm

And, you know, a fertility party is always an option.

Going to the fertility doctor with Zef is nothing sort of hilarious. Let’s face it, you get into conversations with the doctor that are cringe-worthy at best and cause the nervous giggles at the worst. I mean, if you take this all too seriously, you will go nuts — and probably produce a very high strung child.

Today was our follow-up appointment after the Magic Fallopian Tube Discovery. [Open sesame!] It was an early morning appointment, so Dr. M was really rocking his James Earl Jones impersonation. He was quite pleased with our good news. “I knew that was the good one,” he mumbled as he flipped through his notes. We were ready to discuss options.

Option #1: IVF with donor egg.
Option #2: IVF with my egg.
Option #3: Insemination

Wait a minute, wait a minute! Why are we still talking IVF? Good question. And I don’t know the answer. Dr. M says it’s still the high percentage option for getting pregnant. So… why did I have my fallopian tubes Roto-Rootered? Well, because it opened up the previously unavailable option of insemination. Dr. M broke out the model uterus to explain the procedure. No, he didn’t have a turkey baster, so stop right there. But I will have to take medication to turn my ovaries into the human equivalent of a popcorn popper. I was happy [maybe too happy] to hear that testing starts on Zef tomorrow [which will henceforth be known as The Time Trials and will be spoken of no further]. So our journey goes on and on.

My favorite part of our trips to the fertility doctor are when we leave and go to lunch in the city. It’s considerably less stressful. Today we hit Watts Grocery, one of my favorite restaurants in the entire world. I had the tomato, cucumber, avocado sandwich and Z had the chicken tacos. He didn’t especially like his lunch, because he really wanted the pastrami reuben. Unfortunately, eating healthy is not always satisfying. My sandwich was amazing, as were the cheese hushpuppies. I would marry those hushpuppies if it were legal in my state.

And for those of you who are squeamish over all this talk about eggs and fallopian tubes and time trials, I decided to add two new features to my blog: Currently Reading and My Training Log. It’s really to keep me honest and away from Rocky IV reruns rather than keep you entertained, but you never know what will come of it. Right now it will probably just be notations at the bottom of each blog until I get further inspired. May God help us all if I get further inspired.

Currently Reading: A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway

Training Log: Day 1 of a 7 Day Cycle (after two unscheduled and very lazy days off): Activity: Spin (intervals), Time: 50 minutes, Miles: 18.2, Calories Burned: 460, Motivation: Low (refer to previous two days)

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4 Responses to “Turkey Baster Not Included”

  1. Liz Says:

    Wait a minute … is there something wrong with Rocky IV reruns … because I’m telling you when TNT runs 1-4 back to back I am down for the count … so to speak …

  2. […] romance and then there is fertility. Don’t confuse the two. Z’s test results were good: The Time Trials were a success! Z made Dr. M run through the options yet again. Insemination was taken off of the […]


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